Finding Your Someone Right, Aiming Too High Vs. Aiming Too Low

Image: Public Domain, Morguefile
Image: Public Domain, Morguefile

Let me start off by saying that while I’m directing this at the ladies, most of the information I’m going to present in the next few articles will apply pretty well to men seeking Ms. Right just as much as to women seeking Mr. Right.

There’s something I’ve given a lot of thought to, mainly because it’s something that I’ve had to teach myself. Many of us, especially if we’ve been in one or more bad relationships, tend to get to a point where we either set our standards for our next mate far too high, or far too low. Instead of learning from our past mistakes and honing our vision of the partner we really want, we go to one of two extremes, and neither one of them is good for us.

I’m going to write two longer posts with more detail, but to give you an idea of what’s coming, I’ll summarize. The two extremes are setting our sights too high or setting them too low. When one sets their standards too high, it’s usually because they know they can never attain it, and it will, in a sick way, keep them from getting hurt by another person who isn’t what they want. Sometimes it also arises because they don’t understand how to think realistically. When one sets their standards too low, it is almost always because they feel or have been made to feel like they aren’t good enough for anything better.

As I said, neither of these things is good for us. We need to have realistic expectations of what we can get in a mate, and we also need to take the time to search our hearts and souls to figure out what we truly need, rather than what society tells us we’re supposed to want. (And that thought makes me realize that I need to do a few more pieces on relationships.)

So, stay tuned for the two upcoming articles which will tackle both sides of the standards issues, and hopefully help you to stay balanced and in a great place for love, rather than at one end of the spectrum or the other.


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