Finding Your Someone Right, Aiming Too Low

Image: Public Domain, Pixabay
Image: Public Domain, Pixabay

I see this issue far more than aiming too high. It’s a horrible thing to see people do to themselves, and it’s something I’ve done to myself in the past. Setting our sights too low is probably one of the worst things that people, and especially women, can do when looking for a relationship.

People usually lower their standards after they’ve been in one or more bad relationships, because somehow or other they’ve come to believe that they can’t do any better. Women unfortunately seem much more prone to lowering their standards, even though this actually leads them straight into worse relationships than what they’ve already faced.

No matter what happened in your previous relationships, looking for someone who is less is not going to make it better. You can look back on the past, learn from it, become a better person, love yourself more, and get on the path to finding someone who is a great match for you.

A lot of men will make women feel like they’re totally responsible for what went wrong in the relationship, thus leading them to think that they can never be with a good man. What they forget is that if someone made them feel that way, he obviously wasn’t a good man. It’s insanely rare for anything to ever be all one person’s fault. More than likely, there were issues and mistakes on both sides. You can choose to learn and improve, and be fully worthy of a better partner.

Some people start of feeling like they’re not worthy of a good person. That can be because of abuse or not fitting into society or other reasons. One of the most important lessons I can impart to you right now is that if you don’t love yourself, no one else ever will. You MUST find your own self worth before anything else. And never allow society to make you believe that “someone like you” isn’t worthy of love and happiness.

If you have self-esteem issues, lowering your standards and looking for whoever will take you is just asking for trouble. You may get lucky and find someone who will help you find your own awesomeness and you can grow in love together, but it’s the slimmer of the two chances. More than likely you’ll be painting a big target on yourself that basically says “Abusers and manipulators welcome here! Hurt me, please!” Don’t do that to yourself. You have to learn that you’re worthy and not put yourself in a position to be used and abused.

And don’t think that having low standards will keep you from having to face rejection or pain. That can happen no matter what. It’s just part of how things go. The best thing that you can do is look within, find your worth, and commit to not being used or looked down on.

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