Why Is AutoCorrect On Cell Phones So Filthy Minded?

Cell Phone - Image: Public Domain, Morguefile

Okay, I know that this barely fits into the Society category and should probably go under Humor or Entertainment, but it’s Thursday, and I’m trying to stick with the theme, so I’m putting it here. Cell phones and digital devices are ubiquitous and totally a part of modern society, so, [sticks out tongue] it’s a thin connection but it’s my blog and it works for me. [smiles]

Anyway… A friend of mine posted this thing to FaceBook about the 35 Most Concerning Auto Correct Fails. I was nearly falling out of my chair laughing at some of the stuff that auto correct has done to people, like putting “epic penis” instead of “Epi Pen.” However, it got me to thinking, why is auto correct so filthy minded? Seriously, there are entire sites dedicated to auto correct fails, and most of those fails involve it changing something totally common and normal into something dirty that makes the sender look like a perv. What’s up with that?

I know that autocorrect does a lot of other things that aren’t so bad, just annoying. I’m not totally technologically deficient, I do own a tablet, and it has done some goofy shit to me. I keep forgetting to turn it off, but it’s on my to-do list. Luckily, it rarely ever puts the words on the screen, it just suggests them to me and I ignore them. Apparently, it just spits the words out for a lot of people.

The thing is, why does it so often fill in vulgarity? Why would it think you want to say vagina when you type in fajita? why does it put penis in when you meant pencil? How did autocorrect get such a dirty mind? I know it doesn’t actually think, but someone programmed these things. Did they have a dirty mind? What is it in the programming that causes it to choose curse words and unfortunate substitutions so often? There’s got to be some kind of reason. I mean, I know people swear a lot, but seriously, it should know enough to suggest the right words and not automatically go to the foul place.

The other thing I don’t get is why people keep leaving the autocorrect on. If predictive text is screwing with you, why not turn it off? If you Google “How to turn off autocorrect on X” with X being your device type, there are loads of results. It’s not like it’s hard to figure out how to turn it off. Are people too lazy? Too stupid? Do they like taking their mishaps and using them as jokes online? It’s kind of funny sometimes, but really, I’d rather have an honest typo than have my device make me look like a foul-mouthed pervert.

On an interesting side note, did you know that autocorrect, at least on iPhones, won’t fix words that they don’t like? Abduct, abortion, suicide and virginity are among the 14,000 (yes, fourteen thousand) words that apple devices won’t fix if you spell them even slightly wrong. [Siri won’t tell you where abortion clinics are either.] It makes me wonder if there’s some method to the madness. Interestingly enough, iPhones seem to be the most notorious for changing harmless words into vulgarity.

I really think that people just need to turn auto correct and predictive text off on their devices. Either get used to having spelling mistakes or… *gasp* learn to proofread before you hit the send button. Yes, I know, then you’d have to take time and read and use that squishy gray head warmer. It’s worth it. Learn to spell correctly and quit being in such a damn rush. Or, you can just put all your horrible fails up on the internet. That is if you haven’t been torn into, real-life unfriended or killed for your device’s screw ups.


One thought on “Why Is AutoCorrect On Cell Phones So Filthy Minded?

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  1. Well, I will say my Android’s auto-correct is nowhere as bad. Then again I use Swipe, which you can actually “teach” over time to know what words you commonly use. But I know iPhones are especially bad with their auto-correcting ways.


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